Horrid Marriage Life
by swaggers
Summary: YES! This is the sequel to Not My Name! Odin and Lightning get married but it goes SO WRONG FOR THEM! New characters, new personalities, crazy mental people, its just what you'd expect from me!
1. Crazy Wedding

I want to thank everyone who was supporting in Not My Name and I really wanna thank Pulse99 for allowing me to use one of his characters. Check out his story its awesome btw!! The character is Jude and just to let you all know, he is NOTHING like what Pulse makes him in his story.

**WEDDING DAY**

**Lightning: **Odin I'm afraid....

**Odin: **Of what babe?

**Lightning:** What if this wedding goes wrong?

**Odin: **It doesn't really matter as long as we can get married and have a good life.

**Lightning: **OK Odin.

**Priest: ***Says long annoying speech* You may kiss the bride!  
*Snow walks in thinking this is a formal birthday party*

**Snow: **Lightning! You didn't tell me you were having a formal B-Day! Happy birthday!! *Throws confetti in the air*

**Lightning: **Odin, I'm gonna cry!

**Odin:** Don't cry!  
*Odin picks Lightning up and kisses her face*

**Odin, Lightning: ***Moans, kissing noises*  
*Serah jumps up to clap*  
*Hope approaches Lightning who was still making out with Odin. He grabs her waist trying to pull her off of Odin*

**Hope: **Lightning we need to talk about you cheating on me!

**Lightning: **Oh thats right we were dating! Oh well get over it.

**Hope: ***Tears up* NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

**Jude: **What about me Light? Am I NOTHING to you?

**Lightning: **Oh snap I forgot about you! Odin I want a divorce.

**Odin:** What?!?!

**Lightning: **I'm sorry Jude is irresistible. *Jumps on Jude the two make out*

**Odin: **We just got married!

**Jude: **So?

**Lightning: **Jude marry me!!!

**Jude: ***passes out*

**Lightning: **Jude!! NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

**Odin: **So.... do you love me again?

**Lightning: **Oh Odin. *Jumps on Odin the two make out*

**Odin: **I knew you couldn't resist me.

**Lightning: **I can you big dummy.

**Jude: **Whaa.... What happened?

**Lightning: **I will say this carefully. Marry me or I'll have to stick with Odin.

**Jude:** OK but um... I'm scared....

**Lightning: **Ta, whatever, me and Odin are gonna get a divorce! See ya babe!

**Jude:** Wait I wanna come! *Trips over a dust mite and falls off of a cliff*

**Odin: **I wonder when that got there. Whatever. I miss you babe.

**Lightning: **Oh Odin! *Jumps up kisses his face you get the routine.*

**Odin: ** Oh baby I missed these boobs SO MUCH!!

**Lightning: **ODIN! Didn't you miss ME!?

**Odin: **I barely know you! What are you talking about!

**Jude: **Ow.... ugh L... Light..ning..... I'm OK ... the dust mite felt bad about... tripping me and... carried me up here....

**Odin: **Poor dust mite must've been struggling to carry your fat self.

**Lightning: **Don't call my boyfriend fat!

**Odin: **One minute you love me the next you don't!! What is WRONG with you!? BI POLAR GIRL!!!

**Lightning: ***tears up* Odin?

**Odin: **I'm so sorry.

**Lightning: ***crying* Oh ODIN!!! *Yea, you know*

**Jude: **I demand you stop kissing her NOW! *runs but trips and falls and dies*

**Lightning: **At least he's gone.

**AFTER THE WEDDING AT ODIN'S APARTMENT**

**Odin: **Tell me when you're ready.

**Lightning: **Go in NOW Odin!!!

**Odin: ***rolls eyes* Bossy. *Finishes business*

**Lightning: **Odin, you are a very naughty boy.

**Odin:** What was I too good for you?

**Lightning: **You bet!

**Odin:** *gasps* I'm offended!

**Lightning: **WHAT?!

**Odin: **I want a divorce!!!!

**Lightning: **FINE! I'll go mooch on Jude!!

**Jude:** YAY!!

**Lightning: **Come on Jude, we have business to do.

**Jude: **I'm not sure I'm good at this....

**Lightning: **It doesn't matter, we're still doing this.

**JUDE'S HOUSE**

**Lightning:** Jude HARDER!!

**Jude: **I.... I CAN'T!!

**Lightning: **YES YOU CAN!!!!

**Jude: **OK fine I'll try!! *Jude tried harder and dies*

**Lightning: **EW he DIED right in the middle of going in!!!

**Odin: **Well, at least when I went harder I didn't die!

**Lightning: **OH ODIN!!!! *same thing YOU GET IT*

**Odin: **Promise me we won't ever argue like this again!!

**Lightning: **I PROMISE ODIN!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! WHY ARE WE TALKING JUST KISS ME YOU FOOL!!! *Hard kisses*

**Lightning: **Odin your metal body is hurting me a lot.

**Odin: **So what? KISS ME!!!

**Lightning: **OK that's IT! I want a divorce!!

**Odin: **FINE THEN!!! Stay tuned for the next chapter.

**Lightning: **Tuned? But anyway aren't you glad the narrator isn't here anymore?

**Narrator: **Uh, yea. I'm HERE!!!


	2. Lightning's a Crybaby

**LIGHTNING'S A CRYBABY**

**Lightning: **Jude, I don't understand. Why do you think Odin keeps killing you? You tripped over a dust mite!

**Jude:** ODIN PUT IT THERE!!

**Lightning ***crying* No he didn't!! Stop talking about my ex!

**Jude: **Suck it up you big baby.

**Lightning: ***still crying, chops Jude's head off* Don't call me a baby!! I WANT ODIN!!

**Odin: **I'm here baby!

**Lightning: **ODIN!! *Jumps and kisses face* I missed you so much!!

**Jude: **Light.......

**Lightning: **Weren't you dead a second ago?

**Jude: **Well, yea, but the STUPID NARRATOR MAKES ME COME BACK!!

**Narrator: **Did you just call me stupid?! BOY YOU GONNA PAY...... *I kill Jude*

**Odin: **Guess what? I also got a super hot chic to sleep with me so when we get married I don't have to sleep with you!!

**Lightning: ***pause* WHAT?!

**Odin: **Why are you pissing so much?

**Lightning: **I HATE YOU!!!

**Odin: **Fine go marry someone else like that wimpy JUUUUUDE!!

**Lightning: **Fine I will!

**LIGHTNING AND JUDE WALKING IN THE PARK**

**Lightning: **Honestly, Odin has been a real pest ever since we met.

**Jude: **Is that so?

**Lightning: **Yea. But I have to admit, he does it WAY better than you.

** Jude: **Why don't you marry Odin?!**  
**

**Lightning: **I can't marry him!! I just TOLD you why I can't!!!**  
**

**Jude: **Oh I wasn't listening. **  
**

**Lightning: **Yea I know but if he were better, I'd be in the bed with him right now.**  
**

**Jude: **What I don't do it right?**  
**

**Lightning: **No, it's just that Odin does it better LIKE I SAID!!**  
**

**Odin: **YOU LOVE ME!!**  
**

**Lightning: **MARRY ME ODIN!!**  
**

**Jude: ***confused* Whaaa.... *Lightning cries while kissing Odin*

**Jude: **Why on EARTH are you crying? Why do you cry so much?

**Lightning: **I'm a crybaby!!!

**Odin: **But you'll always be MY baby.

**Lightning: **Don't you mean your CRYbaby?

**Jude:** Ugh. *walks off and runs into a poll and dies*

**Lightning: **I never got why Jude is SUCH a kenny. (person who dies all the time)

**Odin: **Who cares? You're MINE baby!!

**Lightning: ***cries again* Oh, ODIN!!!!!

**Odin: **Why are you CRYING?!

**Lightning: **I don't KNOW ANYMORE!!! *Kisses Odin*

**ODIN'S HOUSE**

**Lightning: **Odin can you please stop making fun of Jude?

**Odin: **I thought you were SO OVER HIM?!

**Lightning: **I AM but your poor humor of him is really annoying

**Odin: **I WANT A DIVORCE!!

**Lightning: **We aren't even MARRIED!!

**Odin: **Will you marry me?

**Lightning: **YES!!!

**Odin: **I'm canceling the wedding!!!

**Lightning: **NOOOOOO!!!!

**Jude: **Can we get married Light?

**Lightning: **Sure Jude!

**Odin: **NO LIGHTNING IS MARRYING ME!!!

**Jude: **She is NOT!!!

**Odin: **KENNY!!

**Jude: ***tears up* How could you say that?

**Lightning: **Can you guys stop fighting over me? *cries*

**Jude, Odin: **CRYBABY!!!

**Lightning: **WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

**Odin:** Oops, uh, crud I don't have anything for you to suck on. *snaps fingers* SUCK ON YOUR BOOBS!!

**Lightning: ***cries harder* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

**Jude: **You don't deserve her. *holds light like a baby* Shh shh shh.... there there. Its OK little Lightning.

**Lightning: **Do you THINK I'm a BABY!?

**Jude, Odin: ***nods* Oh yea.

**Lightning: ***tears up* WAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!


	3. Oh Lightning Why

**OH LIGHTNING WHY **

**Lightning: **Oh Jude, as fun as this is, you don't DO IT HARD ENOUGH!!

**Jude: **You remember what happened last time!!

**Lightning: **Please just try for me.

**Jude: **Alright... *tries harder and doesn't die*

**Jude: **Hey! Hey I did it!

**Lightning: **Oh you did it alright...... *licks lips seductively* I want another.

**Jude: **What if you get pregnant?

**Lightning:** So? I won't be marrying Odin so it won't matter.

**A WEEK LATER, LIGHTNING MARRIES ODIN AND FINDS OUT SHE'S PREGNANT. **

**THE HOSPITAL**

**Odin: **Lightning PUSH!!

**Lightning: ***grunts* I... I CAN'T!!

**Odin: **PUSH WOMAN!!!

**Lightning* **AAAAAAAAAAAGGHH!!! *baby pops out*

**Nurse:** congratulations! Its a boy!

**Lightning:** Did she call my baby an it?

**Odin:** Where's his metal parts?

**Lightning:** *bites lip* Odin... I gotta tell you something....

**Odin:** *Turning red* WHAT.....

**Lightning:** I had an affair with Jude.

**Odin:** DIE YOU LITTLE DEMON DIE!!!!!!

**Nurse, Lightning:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!

**Baby:** GA GA GA!!!

**Odin:** SHUT UP YOU BROUGHT TERROR TO ME LIGHT!!

**Lightning:** Cool. Is it divorce time?

**Odin:** Yep.

**Jude: **OMG ITS A BOY!!

**Lightning: **He's your son too.

**Jude: *faints***

**Odin: **You kept secrets from me.... I HATE you.

**Lightning: **Odin....

**Odin: **No don't ODIN me!

**Lightning: **I'm sorry.

**Odin: **Don't give me that.

**Lightning: **FINE WE'LL GET DIVORCED AND I'LL MARRY JUDE!!

**Nurse: **Who is Jude? *Light and Odin stare at the nurse* Oops uh... sorry....

**THE NEXT DAY THEY GET DIVORCED AND LIGHTNING IS DATING JUDE**

**JUDE'S HOUSE**

**Lightning: **I hate Odin. I wish he would go to h-

**Jude: **NOT IN FRONT OF JACOB!! (baby's name)

**Lightning: **Did you just yell at me?

**Jude: **No.....

**Lightning: **I want a divorce!

**Jude: **FREAK!!!

**Lightning: **What did you say?

**Jude: **Nothing.... *Lightning slices him in half and summons Odin*

**Odin: **What?!

**Lightning: **I'm sorry Odin.

**Odin: **Don't give me that.

**Lightning: **But...

**Odin: **I SAID don't give me that.

**Lightning: ***cries* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

**Odin: **Lightning..............

**Lightning: **WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

**Odin: **Light.........

**Lightning: **WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

**Odin: **ALRIGHT!! We'll get married!!

**Lightning: **Really?!

**Odin: **Yes Lightning. I love you. *Hugs and kisses Light's face*

**Lightning: **I LOVE YOU TOO!!


	4. Its Snow's Fault!

**ITS SNOW'S FAULT!**

**Lightning: ***yawn* Odin get up.

**Odin: **Noo....

**Lightning:** GET UP ODIN.

**Odin: **NEVER!!!

**Lightning: **Fine don't get up. We'll get divorced and I'll live with Jude.

**Odin:** Fine I'm up!

**Lightning: **Good boy. *kisses Odin's face* Ow, Odin! Your face is ELECTROCUTING me!!

**Odin: **So?!

**Lightning: **AGH!!

**Odin:** DIVORCE!!

**Lightning: **Yay!

**LIGHTNING'S HOUSE**

**Lightning: ***calling Snow* Hello?

**Snow:** *sniffly crying* H-hi, Light.

**Lightning:** You OK?

**Snow: **No I miss Serah but she said she wants to burn my guts.

**Lightning:** *jumps around excited and starts to talk in a sexy voice* Want me to cheer you up?

**Snow:** OK......

**SNOW'S HOUSE**

**Snow:** *opens door* Hey Light.

**Lightning:** What? Aren't you happy to see me?

**Snow:** Yea, I ju-

**Lightning: **OK then! *grabs snow by arm leads him to his room*

**Snow:** My bedroom?

**Lightning:** *gets undressed* C'MON SNOW!!

**Snow:** That looks..... *drools* fun.....

**Lightning:** Then COME ON!!!

**Snow: ***gets undressed* Ready! *they start*

**Lightning:** AGH SNOW TOO HARD!!! TOO HARD!!!

**Snow:** But it feels SOOOO GOOD!! AGH WHERE'D ALL THIS BLOOD COME FROM?!

**Lightning:** Uh.... too hard....

**Snow:** Oopsie.... Oh Light I CAN'T STOP!!

**Lightning:** DON'T!!! *they finish*

**Lightning:** Ah, Snowy. I see why Serah liked you so much now.

**Odin:** *Appears* LIGHT I- Hey you're NAKED!!

**Snow:** Hey! You were at her B-Day! *hugs Odin* happy birthday.

**Odin:** EW! Naked man! Wait... Lightning you....

**Lightning:** I'm sorry! Snow made me! He raped me! Kill him!

**Odin:** No. You did this to me on purpose. First it was Jude. Now SNOW?!

**Jude:** *appears out of nowhere* Hey naked lady. You wanna... wait LIGHT?! *gasp* YOU'RE NAKED!!!

**Lightning:** I can explain OK?

**Jude:** For ME?! I didn't know you loved me so much!!

**Odin:** She doesn't she did it with Snow.

**Jude:** HOW COULD YOU?!?!

**Lightning:** Jude....

**Jude:** Now I have to commit SUICIDE!!!

**Lightning, Odin, Snow: **Huh? *Jude jumps off high building*

**Snow:** Odd....

**Odin:** SHUT UP YOU CHEATED WITH MY GIRL!!

**Lightning:** Odin....

**Odin:** NO!!! DON'T ODIN ME!!!! I HATE YOU SO MU- *picks up Lightning and kisses her*

**Snow:** Well, I'm confused. Who's Odin? What does he have to do with Lightning? * shrugs* Meh, whatever, I'll go. *walks outside naked and gets shot.*

**(OUTSIDE SECTION) Serah: **SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWW!!!! (like SERAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH)

**Snow:** Ugh.

**Serah:** SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWW!!!!!!

**Snow:** Oh gosh.

**Serah:** SNOOOOOOOOO-

**Snow:** I HEAR YOU!!!!

**Serah: **Oh, OK. You got shot. *Snow slaps face*

**(INSIDE SECTION) Lightning: **He deserved it.

**Odin:** You're cruel you know that?

**ODIN'S HOUSE**

**Odin:** So babe, whatever happened to Jacob?

**Lightning:** He lives with the kenny.

**Odin:** Oh. Is that a good idea with Jude always dying in every chapter?

**Lightning:** He's the same way but NARRATOR doesn't always use him!

**Narrator:** My name isn't narrator its ERIN but if you want him so bad HERE!!!!!

**(This is something I saw off of family guy (adult cartoon) btw not trying to steal something or anything.)**

**Jacob: **Light, Light, Light, Light, Light, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, Lightning, Lightning, Lightning, Lightning, Lightning, mother, mother, mother, mother moth-

**Lightning:** WHAT?!?!

**Jacob:** Hi. *runs off laughing*

**Lightning:** Oh that little.... *chases him and cuts him in half when she sees him*

**Odin:** That was mean.

**Lightning: **Honestly, I could care less.


	5. Deja Vu

Sorry, sorry sorry, I know this took some time to upload but I just...... whatever I was lazy. Sorry for the delay here's chapter 5 Deja Vu. (PS I have a story that I think is HILARIOUS if you want to seeit its a cross with final fantasy and mario (NOT WHAT YOU THINK))

**HOSPITAL**

**male nurse: **PUSH!

**Lightning:** I.... I can't!!!

**Odin:** DO IT NOW!! *baby pops out*

**Odin:** A BLONDE GIRL?!

**Lightning:** Odin.....

**Odin:** EVERY GUY HUH?! You should make a song called every guy! (there's actually a song called every girl so ha ha ha (Its hip hop so some may not like it))

**Lightning:** Odin please.....

**Odin:** BLAH BLAH BLAH I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!

**male nurse:** You two need therapy.

**Lightning, Odin:** SHUT UP!!

**Odin:** This is just Deja Vu all OVER again!!

**male nurse:** That's your husband? How sad.

**Lightning:** Shut up. Mind your business.

**Odin:** *sighs* What do you wanna name her?

**Lightning**: Uh...... uh...... uh.....

**Odin:** HURRY UP!!!

**Baby:** WAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

**Odin:** SHUT UP!!

**Baby:** .......................................

**Lightning:** Did you just yell at my baby?

**Odin:** No............

**male nurse:** Uh... I'ma go.....

**Odin:** GOOD!!

**Lightning:** Odin SHUT UP! All you do is yell at everyone! You're so annoying! I wish you would die!

**Odin:**........ Really? *tears up*

**Lightning:** Odin........

**Odin:** NO DON'T LOOK AT ME!!

**Lightning:** You're yelling again....

**Jude:** Man, Lightning! You shoulda married me in the first chapter!

**Lightning:** Please leave.

**Jude:** WHOA LIGHT! I'm lovin your junk! *passes out*

**Lightning:** Odin please name her so we can leave.

**Odin:** OK........ uh.. Shaniqua!

**Lightning:** NO!!

**Jude:** *regains consciousness* HEY A BABY! Wait.... am I the daddy of this one TOO?! *dies*

**Lightning: **Why me?

**Fang:** The narrator does it.

**Narrator:** I do NOT! Maybe...... Besides where'd you come from?

**Fang:** You put me here.

**Odin:** Ugh. Just name her Sarah so we can leave.

**Snow:** SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!

**All: **Shut up!

**Lightning**: My baby said her first word!

**Sarah:** Shuh...... up......

**Lightning:** OH MY GOSH!!!

**ODIN'S HOUSE**

**Lightning:** *opens bedroom door* Hey Odin! Sarah's asleep so we can finally have....... is that my bra?

**Odin:** I can't help it. Its underwire.

**Lightning:** TAKE IT OFF! NOW!

**Odin:** But its UNDERWIRE!! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE?

**Lightning:** NOW ODIN! Besides underwire bras are annoying!

**Odin:** How would you know?! YOU DON'T WEAR ONE!!

**Lightning:** Yes I do! Who says they're SUPPORTIVE!?

**Odin:** ME!!

**Lightning:** You don't HAVE anything to put IN the bra!

**Odin:** *gasps* How.... how could you? I have PLENTY of toilet paper in here thank you!

**Sarah:** Shuh up!

**Odin:** Wasn't she asleep?

**Lightning:** Uh..... yea.....

**Odin, Lightning:** .......... YOU SHUT UP!!! Dumb baby.....

**Sarah:** WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

**Lightning:** Take off my bra!

**Odin:** NEVER! Its SOO comfy!

**Lightning:** NOW Odin!

**Odin:** If I do can I wear your sports bra?

**Lightning:** Yes! Wait No! Wait...... AGH!

**2 DAYS LATER**

**Lightning:** Odin......

**Odin**: Yes?

**Lightning:** Why is Sarah-

**Snow:** SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

**Lightning:** Wearing my bra?

**Odin: **Well HELLO?! Its UNDERWIRE! Besides she'll have to wear one later on! Why not start now?

**Lightning:** She's not even a week old! Are you CRAZY?!

**Odin:** I love you!

**Lightning:** I love you too! *kisses Odin's face* But seriously. You're obsessed with my chest and anything that has to do with it.

**Odin:** Its the one thing a girl has that a guy doesn't! What would you expect!?

**Lightning:** ODIN!!

**Odin:** I hate you! Go marry your JUUUUUUUDE!!!

**Lightning: ***weird giggle* OK!

**ONCE AGAIN I'M VERY SORRY FOR THE DELAY I WAS BEING VERY LAZY SO..... YEA. HOPE EVERYONE ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER!!! **


	6. Its Not Really Love

**ITS NOT LOVE ANYMORE**

**Lightning:** Jude get up.

**Jude:** Nooooo.......

**Lightning:** NOW. You have to go to work.

**Jude:** Why'd you make me get a job? We could've lived off of trash and dust!

**Lightning:** *rolls eyes* You are REALLY being a moron now huh?

**Jude:** How COULD you!

**Lightning:** Jude......

**Jude: **Kiss me now!

**Lightning:** OK! *jumps on Jude and kisses face*

**Lightning:** OMG you suck. I want Odin back.

**Jude:** But.... but... but....

**Lightning:** Don't take it personally. I just love Odin way more.

**Jude:** Well TOO BAD 'cause I took it PERSONALLY! *runs out of room crying*

**Lightning:** Man, I thought I was a cry baby. *summons Odin*

**Odin:** What do you want?

**Lightning:** Odin, if I can have you back you can wear all of my bras OK? I just want you back.

**Odin:** Na, I'm over those. I'd rather have a baby. Ya know like keep a baby like Sarah-

**Snow: **SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

**Odin:** Or Jacob.

**Lightning:** And you aren't mad at me?

**Odin:** Na. I wasn't before I just liked getting divorced.

**Lightning:** ODIN!

**Odin:** Stop it with your sensitive feelings! DANG!

**Lightning:** WHY would you LIKE getting DIVORCED?

**Odin:** The judge is funny. Whenever I use a crayon instead of a pen, he goes nuts.

**Lightning: **Man, I should've married Jude in the first story.

**Jude:** What story?

**Lightning: **The dumb one narrator made. And weren't you crying a second ago?

**Jude:** No......

**Narrator:** SHUT UP MY NAME IS NOT NARRATOR IT IS ERIN AND THE STORY WAS NOT BAD! *cries* It wasn't!

**Hope:** Eh eh, yea it was eh pretty good eh eh eh.

**Vanille: **Yea it was cool but Hope you're starting to annoy me.

**Lightning:** You GUYS! C'mon go away! Me and Odin were about to get freaky!

**Odin:** YEA! Wait what?

**Hope:** Heh, heh, heh, eh eh ehe eh eh.

**Vanille, Lightning, Odin:** SHUT UP HOPE!

**Odin: **Shame, Vanille. Such a bad choice of words.

**Vanille:** Shut up isn't a bad word.

**Odin:** Did you just tell ME to SHUT UP?

**Vanille:** No! I.... I didn't! *gets sliced*

**Lightning:** Aw, I love your violence. *kisses Odin's cheek*

**Odin: **Thanks baby. Say, why is it that every time I say Sarah-

**Snow:** SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

**Odin: **Snow comes in and screams her name?

**Lightning:** He has an obsession.

**Odin:** But why does the narrator make him come?

**Narrator:** PLEASE stop dragging me into situations. SERIOUSLY.

**Odin, Lightning:** Whatever.

**Narrator:** No don't WHATEVER me!

**Odin:** Get out of the story! You're messing it up!

**Narrator:** Whatever.

**Hope:** Eh Lightning! Lightning please eh you had a baby form everyone but eh me! What about me eh?

**Lightning:** Don't be ridiculous. You haven't even been through puberty.

**Hope:** YES EH!

**Odin: **Ha ha ha. Liar.

**Hope: **I eh am eh not eh.....

**Lightning:** SHUT UP! THE ehs AREN'T NECESSARY!

**Odin:** Actually......

**Lightning:** DON'T take sides with him. You're MY husband so you listen to ME.

**Odin:** K babe. *Jacob crawls in their bedroom*

**Jacob: **Ga ga ga ga ga ga ga.....

**Odin:** Hi Jacob. *picks him up* Did you miss daddy?

**Lightning:** You're not his dad remember?

**Odin:** ............... *tears up* Why did you remind me?

**Lightning:** Odin..........

**Odin:** The bad thoughts were GONE but YOU HAD to BRING 'EM BACK!

**Jude: **Odin SHUT UP! Leave her ALONE! Lightning can't help that she wanted someone ELSE for once! Leave her alone! Quit bothering her!

**Lightning:** Wow, Jude, I didn't know you had so much courage!

**Jude:** I don't. Why is Odin staring at me like that............

**Odin:** YOU ARE GONNA DIE LITTLE CHEESE IT HEAD!

**Jude:** Uh oh....... * Odin drops Jacob and Jude gets slaughtered*

**Jacob:** WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

**Lightning:** JUDE NOOOOOOOO!

**Odin:** LEAVE HIM! *picks Jacob up and comforts him*

**Lightning: **Jude was RIGHT! I hate you Odin!

**Odin:** ......... Really?

**Lightning:** *sigh* No Odin, I'm sorry. Kisses?

**Odin:** *drops Jacob and picks Lightning up and kisses her* Promise me we won't argue like this again!

**Lightning:** We? YOU started it!

**Odin:** And YOU are starting something right NOW!

**Lightning:** Wanna get freaky?

**Odin:** Alright!


	7. Girl's Day Out

**GIRL'S DAY OUT**

**LIGHTNING'S APARTMENT**

**Lightning:** Fang, I'm telling you Odin is CHEATING!

**Fang:** With who? Who would want Odin? *turns around* I mean anyone besides an idiot.

**Lightning:** Are you calling me an idiot?

**Fang:** Sure.

**Lightning:** Oh.

**Vanille:** Ya know Light, Odin told us about what you said about us.

**Lightning:** he...... did?

**Vanille:** Yup! But no worries we're not upset! Why don't we go.......

**Vanille, Fang:** SHOPPING!

**Lightning:** Oh gosh this is gonna be a bad day.

**MALL**

**Vanille:** Fang look! This is that thing Odin said Light was wearing! What's it called?

**Fang:** *ROFL* That's a th....th....th.... THONG!

**Lightning:** *looking embarrassed* I.... I......

**Vanille:** *ROFL* OMG! Seriously Light?

**Lightning:** Hey.... hey is that Jude?

**Jude:** Why hello person that I've never met in my life that almost looks familiar but I've nev- LIGHTNING?

**Lightning:** How could you NOT tell it was me?

**Jude: **Uh.... uh.... Maybe 'cause you ..... let yourself go.....

**Lightning:** WHAT?

**Jude:** Maybe you should have laid off the potato chips when Odin told you to.

**Lightning:** He never DID!

**Hope: **You're LYING!

**Lightning:** Hope? Why are you in the womens' section?

**Hope:** Oh I need a bra. And P.S. that weird guy named John is behind you.

**Jude:** Its Jude.

**Hope:** OK John. *walks off*

**Lightning:** Why is MY life so messed up?

**Jude:** Because you married....

**Jude, Fang, Vanille:** ODIN!

**Lightning:** NO WAY! That CAN'T be the reason! Odin's my lover!

**Vanille:** What does that mean? Lover? You love Odin? I thought you married him because you had no life?

**Lightning:** WHAT? I have a life! My life is perfectly fine thank you!

**Fang:** Right. Alright Light. Say, why is Odin your lover if you two hate eachother so much?

**Lightning:** Because Odin has no life so I'm trying to give him one. We aren't really in love.

**Vanille:** So you two got married because ODIN didn't have a life! Right!

**Jude:** Ha, ha, ha, I told you that you should've married me.

**Fang:** Where on Earth did you come from anyways? *sprays perfume in Jude's eyes*

**Jude:** AAGH! SEDUCTIVE FEMININE SCENTS! IT BURNS! *dies*

**Lightning:** Does everyone hate Jude? He's nice!

**Fang:** And stupid. Don't forget stupid.

**Lightning:** WHY are you guys so MEAN to me, Odin, and Jude? WHY are we all FRIENDS?

**Fang, Vanille:** She has a point.

**Vanille:** I don't wanna be your friend Light! *runs off crying*

**Fang:** Agh, she's a crybaby. *pauses* But not as big a crybaby as you Lightning.

**Lightning:** Tell me about it. Wait what?

**Jude:** *comes back* Whoa, am I.... in heaven?

**Fang:** If you really died, you wouldn't go to heaven, Jude.

**Jude: **Lightning is that... is that you?

**Lightning:** Yes Ju- Please tell me Hope isn't wearing a dress and I'm just hallucinating.

**Fang:** Nope, he's in a dress.

**Hope:** Do you guys think this dress is too big for me?

**Jude:** Why are you even wearing a dress? Dresses are for girls!

**Hope:** *looks stupid* Lightning you.... you lied to me?

**Lightning:** WHAT are you TALKING ABOUT?

**Hope:** You said dresses were for MEN! But you lied to me!

**Lightning:** Don't be ridiculous! That was Snow!

**Fang: **Speaking of Snow, here he comes with Serah.

**Snow:** Hey Lightning! Didn't Odin tell you to lay off the potato chips?

**Lightning:** Why is everyone calling me fat?

**Serah:** Well, you do look fatter than usual....

**Lightning:** *looks down to stomach* Holy CRAP! I AM fat!

**Snow:** Or maybe you're.....

**Fang, Jude, Snow, Serah, Hope:** PREGNANT!

**Lightning:** NOOOOOOOOOO!

**LIGHTNING'S HOUSE**

**Lightning:** Where's Odin? He's gonna miss Jacob's first birthday! I can't believe I'm pregnant again though.....

**Odin:** *busts through door* The king is in the HOUSE!

**Lightning:** ODIN! Where on Earth were you? I called you twelve times!

**Odin:** Well its like what you said, I was on Earth.

**Lightning:** Odin.....

**Odin:** I was at the club OK? I even saved you something to drink! *hands Lightning a liquor bottle*

**Lightning:** I can't drink. I'm pregnant.

**Odin:**.......... WHAT? OK who was it NOW?

**Lightning:** Odin, after I had Sarah, I only did it with you.

**Odin:** *gets happy* So... this time I'm the daddy?

**Lightning:** Yes Odin.

**Odin:** YAY! Now lets celebrate Jacob's birthday!

**Lightning:** What present did you get him?

**Odin:** Uh... *snatches liquor bottle and wraps it in toilet paper* Right here it is!

**Lightning:** You are NOT giving my one year old son a half bottle of LIQUOR!

**Odin:** Should it have been a whole bottle?

**Lightning:** NO! Just.. just leave Odin. Gosh man you're stupid.

**Jacob:** Mom, mom, mom, mom, mo-

**Lightning:** DON'T. START.

**Odin:** Alright let's celebrate this birthday so we can get to the next chapter.


	8. Not as Bad as You Think

**NOT AS BAD AS YOU THINK**

**Lightning:** Twins. Twins Odin. A girl and a boy.

**Odin:** And they have EIDOLON FEATURES! They're MINE!

**Lightning:** Yes.... they're yours.

**Odin:** You still didn't come up with a name for them.

**Lightning:** OK the girl will be named.... Nix and the Boy..... Bahamaut.

**Odin:** WHAT? Snow's Eidolon's name and Fang's? Uh uh NO honey.

**Lightning:** Why? Why not? I thought you loved me.

**Odin:** I do but I HATE Snow and Fang's Eidolon!

**Lightning:** Speaking of Eidolons.....

**Odin:** Oh boy.

**Lightning:** If you're my Eidolon, how is it that you're able to have a normal life like a normal citizen but nobody else's Eidolon is?

**Odin:** I'm a special Eidolon.

**Lightning:** Really? *makes cute baby face*

**Odin:** Yes. Thats how a gave you twins.

**Lightning:** *baby face disappears* Wait you MEANT to give me twins?

**Odin:** Uh.... uh....

**Lightning:** And you KNEW I was PREGNANT all along?

**Odin:** Uh when you put it that way......

**Lightning:** And you laughed at me when I went through LABOR?

**Odin:** What does labor have to do with when you got pregnant?

**Lightning: **ODIN I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU!

**Odin:** But then who's gonna be your lover Eidolon?

**Lightning:** JUDE!

**Odin:** You're KIDDING! He's a HUMAN!

**Lightning: **Noooooo he's a WRATH. Get your facts straight.

**Odin: **SAME THING! Besides, who else would you trust in your chest?

**Lightning:** One: I DON'T trust you in my chest and TWO: You never go IN THERE ANYMORE!

**Odin: **SO WHAT? WHO CARES!

**Lightning:** ME!

**Odin:** WHY are we married if all we do is FIGHT!

**Lightning:** ONE: THE NARRATOR DOES IT TWO: THE STORY ISN'T NAMED HORRID MARRIAGE LIFE FOR NOTHING THREE: YOU KNOW YOU AND I ENJOY FIGHTING TOGETHER!

**Odin: **Why do we love it so much?

**Lightning:** I dunno, we're like an extremely old couple.

**Odin:** Old coop.

**Lightning:** Gramps.

**Lightning, Odin:** *Burst out laughing*

**Lightning:** MAN ODIN! We should fight more often!

**Odin:** I know right?

**Lightning:** ............. Wait.... you really think we should fight more often?

**Odin:** You think we should fight more often?

**Lightning:** Odin... I....

**Odin:** WHAT?

**Lightning:** *slightly crying* Odin how... how could you I.... I try my best to be a good wife I just.... I'm not.... I'm just not a good lover OK?

**Odin:** *hugs light* You are. Don't believe you aren't. *strokes her hair*

**Lightning:** Odin your... your hands are hurting my head.

**Odin:** Do not GIVE ME THAT!

**Lightning:** THERE'S YOUR PROBLEM YOU ALWAYS GOTTA YELL!

**Odin:** LOOK WHO'S TALKING!

**Lightning:** I'M YELLING NOT TALKING!

**Odin:** AGH I LOVE YOU!

**Lightning:** I LOVE YOU MORE! *jumps on Odin and they make out*

**Lightning:** That was weird. Hey Odin, why is it that we fight but we always end up making up afterwards?

**Odin: **Its love.

**Lightning:** C'mon be realistic now.

**Odin:** I am. I LOVE YOU!

**Lightning:** Aw, I love you too, Odin. *kisses cheek* Odin, we need to stop fighting so much.

**Odin:** What do you suggest we do?

**Lightning:** ..... I dunno I thought you would know... *Jacob and Sarah crawl in*

**Lightning:** Aw, come here baby. *picks up Jacob*

**Odin:** *picks up Sarah* Aw, look who's a good girl.

**Lightning:** Hey..... we still didn't name the twins.

**Odin:** Meh, they're Eidolons. They can do it themselves. I mean, they learn to talk the second they're born.

**Lightning:** Really?

**Odin:** Yup. I named myself Odin.

**Lightning:** Aw, you chose a good name. *kisses Odin's lips*

**Lightning: **Odin, ya know even though I love you so much, it doesn't mean I don't think you're ugly.

**Odin:** You think I'm WHAT? *throws Sarah to the ground*

**Lightning: **YOU ARE UGLY THATS WHAT! *throws Jacob to the ground*

**Odin:** So you think I'm ugly now? I THOUGHT YOU LOOOOOOOOOVED ME!

**Lightning:** Well I DID but now you gotta go and get stupid!

**Odin:** WHAT? WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?

**Lightning:** I DON'T KNOW BUT YA KNOW WHAT?

**Odin:** WHAT?

**Lightning:** AS MANY TIMES AS WE'RE DROPPING THESE KIDS THEY'RE GONNA GROW UP TO BE STUPIDER THAN SNOW AND HOPE TOGETHER!

**Lightning, Odin:** *burst out laughing*

**Odin:** This is fun. *picks up Sarah*

**Lightning:** *picks up Jacob* Yea.

**THE END! SORRY THIS CHAPTER IS SO SHORT! I FINALLY FINISHED ALL MY OTHER STORIES SO NO MORE WORRYING ABOUT DELAYS!**


	9. Have a Lil Hope

**HAVE A LIL HOPE**

**Hope:** I still don't understand why you dumped me last year.

**Lightning:** I said it twelve times! You weren't finished through puberty! Your voice wasn't even broken!

**Hope:** What? Why would you want my voice to break? I'd never be able to speak again!

**Lightning:** I mean your voice didn't get deep! Its not even that deep now!

**Hope:** Agh whatever. Go take care of your five kids. I don't care anymore.

**Lightning:** Its four kids. *walks off to Odin's*

**ODIN'S HOUSE**

**Lightning:** ODIN! I'm hom- Who is in the bed with you?

**Odin:** No...body.....

**Lightning:** *pulls covers* S...Serah?

**Serah:** I'm sorry! Odin is just SO addicting! Like a drug!

**Lightning:** Odin I can't believe you!

**Odin:** I'm sorry!

**Lightning:** No you AREN'T! Don't give me that! *cries*

**Odin:** Light?

**Lightning:** I loved you! You cheated! With my sister! Why Odin? Why?

**Odin:** I.... I.... I'm sorry... you were gone and... I just wanted a lil kiss from someone!

**Lightning:** Well you can kiss the mirror or somethin! C'mon Odin! With my sister? WHY?

**Odin:** I.... I... I

**Lightning:** Don't even talk to me!

**Odin:** Wait Light! *pushes red button on nightstand* April Fools.

**Lightning:** Ooh.... I HATE YOU.....

**Odin:** Aw, I hate you too. *kisses Lightning's cheek*

**Lightning:** Odin, why would you make me .... why would you hurt me so much?

**Odin:** Agh, here we go!

**Lightning:** I mean, I got my feelings crushed, I wanted to explode Odin! Why'd you do this?

**Odin:** You are making a huge deal out of this. That is so unnecessary.

**Lightning:** It is SO necessary! I thought you were for real!

**Odin:** It was a HOLOGRAM! GET over IT!

**Lightning:** OK fine. I'm cool. I got over it.

**Odin:** You sure? That was a little to fast for you to get over....

**Lightning:** Positive. Hey Odin....

**Odin:** Yea babe?

**Lightning:** Where's our kids?

**Odin:** Well, I kept the Eidolon human babies and I threw the other two away.

**Lightning:** WHAT?

**Odin: **Chill out! It was an April fools joke!

**Lightning:** Stop that! You sound so serious!

**Odin:** Well.... I DID throw them away but they came back.

**Lightning:** You THREW my BABIES in the TRASH?

**Odin:** NOOOO! I threw them to the other side of Cocoon.

**Lightning:** Odin I HATE you!

**Odin:** Oh you're such a BABY!

**Lightning: **I LOVE you!

**Odin:** I LOVE YOU MORE! *Lightning jumps on Odin*

**Lightning:** You're serious right?

**Odin:** Of course I am. *they make out*

**Lightning:** Ya know I'm gonna get you for those April fools pranks.

**Odin:** I seriously doubt that.

**THE NEXT MORNING**

**HOPE'S HOUSE**

**Hope:** So... you wanna act like you were sleeping with me to trick Odin?

**Lightning:** Yup. *takes off shirt*

**Hope:** WHOA! Its STRAPLESS!

**Lightning:** Yesss Hope. They make strapless bras. Now I'm gonna hide my body under your blanket and let my shoulders show so Odin think w-

**Hope:** Why not do it for real?

**Lightning:** I hope you don't seriously think I'll answer that.

**Hope:** Hey! You said my name!

**Lightning:** Shh shh shh I think Odin's coming! *jumps in bed* Hurry up!

**Hope: **Hee hee hee... *hops in bed*

**Odin:** Hope have you seen Li-..... Lightning? Are you?

**Lightning:** Uh... you weren't supposed to be here.....

**Odin:** You're SLEEPING with HOPE? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!

**Hope:** It isn't what you think! Light's not really naked! Its a strapless bra! And I'm not naked either! I'm wearing my shorts and stuff! Its just a prank to get you back for the ones you played on her! She's tricking you!

**Odin:**...................

**Lightning:** *slaps face* Remind me to NEVER trust Hope.

**Odin:** So you tricked me?

**Lightning:** You weren't supposed to find out so soon but yes Odin. I was tricking you.

**Odin:** Oh.... I feel pretty stupid.

**Lightning:** GOOD!

**Odin:** Are you yelling at me now?

**Lightning:** YES YES I AM THANK YOU!

**Odin, Lightning:**.......... I .... LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

**Hope:** I'm confused.. You guys were all I HATE YOU BLAH BLAH BLAH and then you scream I love you? Huh?

**Odin:** Hope, It's love. I hope you come to understand one day.

**Hope:** Hey you said my name TWICE!

**Lightning:** Nobody cares. Agh.... life wouldn't be the same without our hopes and dreams. And Hope.

**Hope:** Thanks! I love you Light! *reaches to hug her*

**Lightning:** Don't push it.


	10. What We Deserve

**WHAT WE DESERVE**

**(Got this idea from LilVirga. Little thing you should know, the social worker in this is like always happy (and creepy) so he doesn't get mad or anything.)**

**Social Worker:** So um.... I got a few complaints from some residents in this house that child abuse is going on in here.

**Lightning:** Who did that? *looks at Nix* (Yes they went with the Eidolon names)

**Nix:** Don't look at me. (make sure you use a baby voice)

**Odin:** Nix..... Did you do this?

**Nix:** No! It was Bahamaut I swear!

**Bahamaut:** Nuh uh!

**Nix:** Yea huh!

**Bahamaut:** Nuh uh!

**Lightning:** *rolls eyes* Sir I can explain. Me and my husband... we-

**Social Worker:** WHOA! You have your Eidolon as your husband right? Odin? I love that guy!

**Odin:** Lesbian! Lightning he's a lesbian!

**Lightning:** NO! He means he's a fan of you dummy!

**Odin:** Oh... Sorry...

**Lightning:** Anyways, me and my husband, Odin, we don't always get along and when we don't, sometimes we take our anger out on our kids.

**Social Worker:** Well, you shouldn't do that! If these are your children, they need to be treated with the proper respect!

**Bahamaut, Nix:** No freakin' duh!

**Odin:** *snaps fingers* Quiet over there! You were saying sir?

**Social Worker:** Uh, uh, uh, see that right there was the improper way to snap at your children. *walks to their kids*

**Lightning:** *whispering to Odin* If you snap at your kids, how is there a RIGHT way?

**Odin:** *shrugs*

**Social Worker:** Its OK kids. Your daddy didn't mean it.

**Nix:** Who the crap are you?

**Social Worker:** Oh such foul language! Do your parents curse around you?

**Nix:**....... That was not cursing....

**Bahamaut:** I don't get it. Why do social workers and people try and 'talk' with their kids when smacking their behind works way better?

**Social Worker:** Because, young man, it WORKS!

**Bahamaut:** OK number one: You don't call me young man and number two: It SO doesn't work.

**Social Worker:** Oh yes it does! With my techniques, we'll have you kids straightened out in no time! *walks to Odin and Light*

**Nix:** *whispers to Bahamaut* Do I look wrinkled to you?

**Social Worker:** Now! First we start with the corner trick!

**Lightning:** Corner?

**Social Worker:** Yes! All we have to do is wait until they do something wrong and .... WHAM! You BANG their heads against the corner!

**Odin:** WHAT? I'm not gonna purposely throw my kids into a corner!

**Lightning:** Well you had no problem throwing my kids to the other side of COCOON!

**Odin:** I TOLD you they came BACK!

**Lightning:** I don't CARE they could've DIED!

**Odin:** So you don't care that they came back!

**Lightning:** That's not what I MEANT!

**Social Worker:** Uh, uh, uh, mom and dad! No fighting!

**Lightning:** Did he just call us mom-

**Odin:** And dad?

**Social Worker:** Now! Give each other a bug hug and kiss!

**Odin, Lightning:** *shrug* *make out*

**Social Worker:** *smacks the back of Lightning's head* No, no, no! No making out in front of the kids!

**Bahamaut:** Na, man. Its cool.

**Nix:** Yea we're used to it.

**Social Worker:** *gasps* Shame! Your children are used to you two making out? They'll never grow up to be young, kind adults!

**Odin:** *stops kissing* Look guy. They don't mind, nothing happened. Now listen, you're starting to bug me. Please just leave.

**Social Worker:** Well I CAN't leave.

**Lightning:** *shows her fist* Want me to MAKE you leave?

**Social Worker:** Tsk, tsk, tsk, such violence. Apparently, I cannot leave until my time is up.

**Nix, Bahamaut, Odin, Lightning:** YOUR TIME IS UP! ITS UP ITS UP ITS UP!

**Social Worker:** Well, as many complaints I got, my time is nowhere NEAR over!

**Lightning, Odin:** *look at Nix and Bahamaut*

**Nix:** I didn't do it.

**Bahamaut:** Yea she did!

**Lightning:** Shouldn't it be OUR decision on when you leave?

**Social Worker:** Well, according to the mayor.......

**Odin: **WHO CARES ABOUT HIM? GET OUT!

**Social Worker:** I'm not to leave until I see improvement and SO FAR, its been getting worse!

**Lightning:** AGH! Get out before I shoot you!

**Social Worker:** *gasp* Usage of weapons in your house? Such actions are not tolerated! *tries to take Nix and Bahamaut*

**Lightning: **Put my babies DOWN! *chops Social Worker's head off* *picks up Bahamaut and Nix*

**Nix, Bahamaut:** MOMMY!

**Lightning:** Who wants to tell mommy which one of you sent complaints?

**Nix:** Bahamaut!

**Bahamaut:** Nix!

**Odin:** Babe, it doesn't matter. We took care of it.

**Lightning:** Aw..... *drops kids* *makes out with Odin*

**Nix:** Please stop its gross.


	11. Info

This isn't a chapter, just some information I wanna give out.

When I write a story, I either have a plan for it, or I improvise. In this particular story, I'm improvising. And unfortunately, I'm not doing such a good job.

I say that because I'm constantly running out of ideas. So here's what I want YOU to do. If you have any ideas, PM (private message) me the idea. I seriously need it. I will make sure to give you full credit for the idea, too. I don't care what its about. Chapter, story, cream cheese, whatever. But before I end this... chapter..... I want to introduce you all to some people.

(Hello!) This is my parenthesis ghost. She can be helpful or she can be very rude.

**Wassup.** This is my bold ghost. She's usually nice.

_How do you do?_ This is my italics ghost. Shes um.... yea....

(Apparently, the only reason narrator ran out of ideas is because she is stupid.) Hey! That isn't the reason I ran out of ideas and my name isn't NARRATOR!

**That's true. Leave her alone. Make sure you all PM Narrator your ideas!** You just said my name isn't narrator, why are you calling me that! **I dunno.**

**_Well, that's all I have and yes this is Erin, the narrator. I also have an underline ghost but she's too afraid to ever come out. Buh Bye!_**


	12. Mission: Is Gonna Fail

**MISSION: IS GONNA FAIL**

**This idea is from LilVirga so THANX FOR ALL THE SUPPORT LILVIRGA**

**Snow:** OK so everybody knows how the plan is gonna go right?

**Fang, Vanille, Dajh, Sazh:** Yes!

**Hope: **No!

**Snow:** Ugh. I'll explain it again, K Hope? We're gonna break up Odin and Lightning!

**Hope:** But they never leave each other! They wanna murder each other but they're too far in love to do that!

**Sazh:** Boy's got a point.

**Dajh:** Hey dad! *goofy smile*

**Sazh:** Hello, Dajh. *sigh* OK uh, how about we kill Odin?

**Fang: **Even if we all went after him, he'd be too powerful.

**Snow:** Then.... why don't we get Fang to seduce him to the point where he gives in?

**Fang:**........ WHAT?

**Snow:** I mean think about it! Odin doesn't really love Light, he doesn't care. Lightning doesn't do anything when he cheats with a hot girl so if he cheated with you it would be a huge deal!

**Fang:** Agh, I can't do that!

**Vanille:** Do it for Hope!

**Fang:** What? I don't give a crap about Hope!

**Hope:** How... how could you?

**Snow:** Please Fang?

**Fang:** No.

**Snow, Dajh, Sazh:** PLEEEEEEAASE?

**Fang:** Nope.

**Snow, Dajh, Sazh, Vanille, Hope:** PLEEEEEEAASE FANG?

**Fang:** ALRIGHT!

**Snow:** *jumps up in air* Yay!

**ODIN'S HOUSE**

**Lightning:** Babe, I'm going to the store to get the kids some food 'n stuff.

**Odin:** We got plenty of food here!

**Lightning:** I'm not counting potato chips as their food.

**Odin:** Then give them some milk! Ya know from-

**Lightning:** Shut it up, Odin.

**Odin:** Alright, just take the kids with you.

**Lightning:** Whatever. *picks up Jacob and Sarah, Bahamaut and Nix walk to the car*

**Odin: **Phew, glad she's gone.

**Sexy Lady Voice:** I'm glad she is too.

**Odin:** *whistles* Man! Who's the chic talkin' to me?

**Sexy Lady Voice:** You sure you wanna know?

**Odin:** Oh yea!

**Sexy Lady Voice:** *steps out and reveals lingerie*

**Odin:** Fang? That was YOU?

**Fang:** Yea baby. You want a piece of this?

**Odin:** *drools* I ... I shouldn't....

**Fang:** Who cares? *kissing Odin's neck* You can do it, daddy.

**Odin:** Ohh..... I CAN'T TAKE IT! *grabs Fang* I'ma do it!

* * *

**LIGHTNING COMES BACK**

**Lightning:** Odin! Kids are asleep! I'm back baby! *looks around for Odin* Odin? *walks into bedroom*

**Lightning:** Tell me that isn't FANG in the bed with you?

**Odin:** Uh....

**Lightning:** C'MON man! I KNOW you can do better than that! I mean you could sleep with SNOW before FANG!

**Fang:** Hey now!

**Lightning:** I can't BELIEVE you! You're just SO desperate for sex huh?

**Odin:** I can't help it Fang is seductive!

**Lightning:** I don't give! You shouldn't have done this to me!

**Nix: ***walks into room* Daddy, why is your wiener in that lady?

**Lightning:** Nix... Get out OK? Daddy can explain that later....

**Nix: ***shrugs* *walks out*

**Lightning: **You SEE what you do?

**Odin:** OK I'm sorry baby. But um... I need your help.....

**Lightning:** With?

**Odin:** I can't pull out I'm stuck!

**Lightning:** AGH! *yea she helped him*

**Odin:** So uh, how mad are you? *hides*

**Lightning:** *sighs* I'm not mad.

**Fang:** WHAT?

**Lightning:** Odin, I'm not mad at you. You just need to learn to control yourself OK daddy?

**Odin:** OK.

**Lightning:** Promise me you'll control yourself.

**Odin:** Promise. *they make out*

**Fang: **Agh! I TOLD you guys it wouldn't work!

**Snow:** *appears out of nowhere with rest of crew* So what?

**Dajh:** WHOA! NAKED MAN! EW!

**Sazh: **Look away son!

**Dajh:** I CAN'T! IT BURNSSSS! *dies*

**Sazh:** NOOOOOOO!

**Vanille:** What went wrong? (Note: this is the same thing she says when you die trying to fight her Eidolon (that dude was HARRRD) yea that was it)

**Lightning:** Well, you guys forgot how in love we are!

**Odin:** We're in love?

**Lightning:** ODIN!

**END OF CHAPTER but GUESS WHAT? I saw Odin and MAN is his face UGLYYYYY! I just realized how ugly he was!**


	13. Oh the Stupidity

**OH THE STUPIDITY**

**(got this idea from Pulse99)**

**Hope:** So why did you come over again?

**Lightning:** Because I'm upset with Odin and I need someone to punch! Like a punching bag!

**Hope:** So who ya gonna use? *gets punched*

**Hope:** Ah! What was THAT for?

**Lightning:** I didn't come over here to punch a wall, Hope. C'mon be serious.

**Hope:** Fine. But you owe me a kiss.

**Lightning:** NO! You can punch me back! ANYTHING BUT A KISS!

**Hope:** No.... Come here, Light.

**Lightning:** Oh no! *Hope kisses Lightning*

**Lightning:** *cough cough* Oh that was horrible.

**Hope: **You know I'm a great kisser.

**Lightning:** Yea right. Keep dreaming. *vomits*

**Hope:** NO! NOT ON MY NEW BRA!

**Lightning:** WHAT?

**Hope:** I GOT a new bra when you went to the mall that day you remember!

**Lightning:** Hope you are the weirdest fourteen year old boy EVER.

**Hope:** Gah, who gives a crap.

**Lightning:** Please leave me alone.

**Hope:** No! Not until you love me!

**Lightning:** I'm MARRIED with FOUR KIDS!

**Hope:** Half of them aren't even your husband's!

**Lightning:** Shut up!

**Hope:** See? And he's totally fine with it! Why are you so afraid of me?

**Lightning:** Oh please. I don't fear you I hate you. Why do you think I've avoided seeing you so much?

**Hope:** OK Fine. I'll leave you alone. *starts crying softly*

**Lightning:** Hope did I... did I hurt you?

**Hope:** Yes....

**Lightning:** Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean it I just.... I'm sorry Hope.

**Hope:** You LOVE ME!

**Lightning:** I DO NOT!

**Hope:** WHY NOT?

**Lightning:** YOU'RE NOT MY TYPE!

**Hope:** So..... Odin is more like you? How?

**Lightning:** He isn't he's just SUCH a good lover.

**Hope:** And I'm not?

**Lightning:** Nope.

**Hope:** Fine. Be that way. I don't care. *sniffle*

**Lightning:** Hope?.......

**Hope:** *crying* I wish I wasn't fourteen! Then you'd love me!

**Lightning: **Hope c'mon.....

**Hope:** Then I could give you four kids! You NEVER look to the possibilities!

**Lightning: **Hope please......

**Hope:** Oh the odds! Oh the possibilities! Oh the stupidity!

**Lightning:** Oh SHUT. UP.

**Hope: **See? You hate me! If I was an adult you would love me! I believe it! You just don't want it to happen but I do Lightning Farron!........ I do....

**Lightning:** Aw, Hope. Don't worry about it OK?

**Hope:** TOO LATE! I DID!

**Lightning:** Alright FINE! Me and Odin haven't gotten divorced yet so we will and I'll marry you OK?

**Hope:**............ YES! YES YES YES!

**2 DAYS LATER HOPE AND LIGHTNING ARE MARRIED AND CAN'T STAND EACH OTHER**

**Hope:** Lightning! Did you eat my cereal?

**Lightning:** Yes I did, I was HUNGRY!

**Hope:** AGH!

**Lightning:** OK you know what?

**Hope:** WHAT?

**Lightning:**......... I MISS MY KIDS AND ODIN SO MUCH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

**Hope:** Then LEAVE!

**Lightning:** Fine. I will. I'm coming for you Odin baby daddy!


	14. Eidolons are NOT Helpful

**EIDOLONS ARE NOT HELPFUL**

**(This is two mixed ideas from Leftenant Ghost-roach and BiJane so thank you!)**

Hello readers! I'm now narrating again since I recovered from my serious injury from the cast of Not My Name! (CRUD!) Shut up nobody asked you.

Lightning and Odin both sat on the bed staring at each other. Odin was looking upset, Lightning just nervous, guilty and confused.

"So, you divorce me for HOPE REPEAT HOPE and now you want me back after a day with marriage?"

"Believe it or not, its harder to sleep with Hope than it is with you. Try sleeping with a midget who can't sit still and snores like a helicopter."

"Yea, don't care." Odin stood up and walked out of the bedroom. Lightning waited until he went into the baby's room and she slammed the door shut. "Hope! Coast is clear!" Hope suddenly crawled from underneath Lightning's bed. He summoned Alexander and as soon as he did, he fell through the floor. "Uh, oh."

"Hope! With all this noise Odin's gonna suspect something!"

"I doubt it. He's too stupid to."

"Yea you got a point there." Lightning looked down to the hole in the floor. "Alex!"

"What?" (Note: Alexander has a Darth Vader voice, so make sure its all deep.)

"I'm coming down, babe." Lightning hopped down and Alexander caught her. Lightning smiled.

_Has anyone ELSE noticed that Lightning is constantly falling in love with Eidolons rather than humans? _

SHH! Now, then, Alexander and Light heard a crackling noise beneath them. "Alex....."

"Yes?"

"Don't move a muscle. Don't even talk."

"OK I won't." They soon started free falling to another level on the floor. "AAAAAAALEEEEEX!"

"Ouchie."

"Alex! I told you not to speak!"

"No! You said 'don't move a muscle. Don't even talk.' Not 'not to speak'!"

"Ugh, you're just as dumb as Odin." Lightning folded her arms. She then looked back at Alex and began making out with him. "Oh Alex, I love you more than Odin!"

"But I'm Hope's Eidolon!"

"So what? I'll make you mine forever." Lightning said in a sexy voice. Alex grinned (He is ugly too.) and looked up to the ceiling for Hope. "Hope!"

"Yea, Alexander?"

"I'ma live with Lightning forever!"

"How?"

"Uh... I'll hide under her bed whenever Odin is around!"

"How? The floor breaks when you walk and you're WAY too big to hide under a bed!"

"We'll see about that Hope!" Lightning yelled.

**A MONTH PASSES AND LIGHTNING GETS THE FLOOR FIXED. ALEXANDER STARTS LIVING UNDER THEIR BED BUT LIGHTNING FORGETS ABOUT HIM. ODIN FINDS OUT WHAT HAPPENS.**

"Lightning,"

"Yes, baby?"

"Why is our bed levitating?" Lightning looks over to the bed. She realizes Alexander has been hiding under that bed for weeks ever since she forgot about him. "Oh yea, funny story...."

"Lightning...."

"Are you mad?"

"I never realized you could buy floating beds!" Lightning sighs with relief. _"At least he never found out what REALLY happened."_

"So, how about we try out how sturdy this bed is?"

"OK daddy!" Lightning jumped on top of Odin. Before Lightning could even get her shirt off, they were both interrupted by a loud yell.

"Light!"

"Baby, what was that?"

"Uh... Odin... lemme explain OK?"

"WHO was it NOW?" Odin yelled. Lightning peeked underneath the bed. Alexander was red. You could even feel the heat radiating from his metal. Lightning looked up to Odin. As soon as she tried to explain herself, the bed flew in the air and hit a wall.

"Lightning.... what is Alexander doing under my bed?"

"Um...." Alexander started walking their way but as angry as he was he was stomping HARD. The floor suddenly broke beneath his feet. "Odin.... lemme explain OK baby?"

"NO! You TELL me what happened! DON'T EXPLAIN TELL ME!" Lightning rolled her eyes at Odin's stupidity. "Odin, I got bored and.... I wanted a taste of a bigger guy so... Hope lemme use Alexander and um... yea."

"So you didn't.... do anything right?"

"Nope. Nothing." Nix and Bahamaut both walked in behind their parents. "Mom! Nix stole my sword!"

"So! Bahamaut stole my razor blade!"

"Hey, hey, hey! Those were gifts from daddy! DON'T break them!" Odin yelled. "So dad... you don't care that I lost my sword because of NIX?"

"Nope."

"Fine." Nix and Bahamaut walked out of the room. "Odin..."

"No Lightning! I'm not forgiving you!"

"Fine!" Lightning goes to bed and wakes up to a sticky note on her face. (It had super glue because Odin decided the sticky stuff wouldn't stick.) "Ouch! OK I got that off. Now lets see what this says." Lightning tried to read the note, but Odin's poor grammar and spelling made that impossible. If you can read this, leave Lightning a review saying what it says. IN WORDS PLEASE! Please make sure you use CORRECT grammar. Otherwise, Light won't understand.

Deyr, Lit-nig.

I rund awy bcuz u don lik me n i hat u now. me trnd in 2 a horsy n me rided awy bcuz dats d fast way i go. don luk 4 me. u won find me in da ise creeem stor. so don luk der. jus stay hom with ur ALEX-AND-UR. me hOp (hope) dat d chilins (kidz) wil b o-k bcuz u cant rayze nobody. and me don lik dat u nevr giv me secs. its meeen. u no i lik secs. but it don matr. jus leev me alon. n rememburr don luk 4 me in d ise creeem stor. cuz i not der. mak shur u tak care uf d kids cuz i stil luv dem.

plz don luk 4 in d ise creeem stor or luv- ODIN


	15. Look Who Can't Cook!

**LOOK WHO CAN'T COOK!**

**(I got this idea from plajaro. Thank you!)**

Sazh, Vanille, Dajh, Odin, Hope, Serah, Snow, (WOOT!) Fang, and Baby Chocobo all crowded the dinner table. Lightning was busy in the kitchen, trying her hardest to cook a good meal.

_"Should I cook a turkey or fish? Something normal? Or... a Flan?" _

"Or I should cook it all!" Lightning ran to a cabinet. In it was a turkey, fish and Flan. She cut the Flan's head off and pulled out the dead turkey and half-alive fish. (Yes it was half alive) Lightning quickly used the Flan's head as glue for the fish and turkey. She threw it into the microwave and set it for thirty minutes. After that, Lightning put her creation into the oven for twenty minutes. She walked out to all her hungry friends and family.

"Dinner is almost ready you guys!"

"K, Lightning. We're playing poker, you want in?" Odin asked his wife. (Who he really didn't love...) Lightning played poker for an hour until,

"Oh NO! My dinner!" She ran into the kitchen to meet a giant Flan with fish arms and a beak. (from the turkey) She quickly ran out of the kitchen.

"Is there something wrong, Light?" Hope asked.

"N.. No..." Suddenly, the Flanishurkey (Flan+Fish+Turkey) busted through the kitchen door and grabs Snow.

"No! I didn't do ANYTHING!" Snow yelled. Lightning looked up to him with a you-know-you're-lying look. "Snow, EVERYTHING is your fault. Don't go there." Snow got eaten by the giant Flanishurkey. It soon turned to get somebody else.

"Light!" Odin yelled. He jumped across the table and grabbed Lightning, trying to protect his wife. Unfortunately, Odin jumped right when she got smacked so he just landed on the floor. The Flanishurkey then went after Dajh.

"Hey dad! Look! I'm flying!" (Of course after the 'hey dad' he did his goofy smile)

"Dajh, you aren't flying. Sheesh." Dajh was then eaten. "At least we won't have to hear the hey dad thing constantly." Sazh said. Everyone stared at him, including the Flanishurkey. They all stopped staring after about a minute and then they resumed screaming in terror.

"Alex! Help me!" Lightning yelled. "I'm coming!"

"NO ALEXANDER! Lightning is MY wife I'LL HELP HER!"

"No Odin, no! I'm not in love with you!"

"So if you don't love me, WHY are we married? Go marry Alexander!"

"Yea! Marry me!"

"No! I don't love either of you!"

"Then who DO you love?" Alexander and Odin asked.

"Batman!" Suddenly, Batman showed up and grabbed Lightning in a bear hug. "I am sexy, am I not?" (Ya know, Batman talks all proper and kinda weird (TO ME))

"Ooh, daddy!" Lightning and Batman began making out. Odin and Alexander sighed in disappointment. The Flanishurkey then smacked Batman and Lightning on the faces hard. Batman took out his batarang (Whaa...) and tried to slice it but the Flanishurkey just ate it.

"Lightning, I must leave... BAT CALL BYE!" Batman ran off in fear. Lightning rolled her eyes and faced Odin and Alexander. "So um... who wants me back?" Odin and Alexander looked at eachother, looked at Light, looked at eachother again and then burst out laughing.

"Man, baby you're FUNNY! But now is not the time for you, me, and Alexander to debate. We need to get rid of this thing!"

"Um... but you do want me back, right?"

"I SAID now is not the time to DEBATE." Odin yelled. Lightning looked to the floor in disappointment. Hope ran up to the beast before him (I mean the Flan thingy. NOT Odin.) and tried to punch him as hard as possible but that came out to be a little hit.

"Eh, C'MON!"

"Hope, you do realize Lightning's horrible cooking made this thing?" Fang said. Lightning got upset and threw Fang into the Flanishurkey. (She was EATEN! HA HA HA!) Her blood splattered all over the dining room.

"Wait, STOP!" Alexander yelled. "Lightning, you made this thing, you get rid of it!"

"But,... but Alex I... I can't!" Lightning fake cried on Alexander's chest. "I can't do it."

"Stop Light!" Odin's deep voice bellowed. "You ALWAYS gotta kiss up to someone! Then you go and cheat on them! Then when the person you cheated with leaves you, you beg for your first lover back! NOBODY LOVES YOU ANYMORE!"

"That's not true!" Jude yelled from under the table. "I will ALWAYS love her!"

"Jude? I... I LOVE YOU TOO!" Lightning ran under the table and made out with Jude. The Flan thing-a-muh-bober ate Jude. And GUESS WHAT? This time, Jude didn't come back! EVER! (He had died so many times he won't come back)

"I... Jude's... he's gone... why?"

"You don't deserve a man, Lightning. Right Alex?"

"Yep."

"Yea! Eh, I mean I used to love you but,... eh... you're so.. weird."

"Hope?"

"Nobody wants you. I don't, Odin doesn't, Hope doesn't, Batman doesn't, Snow doesn't, Sazh doesn't, Dajh-"

"OK, Alex. Nobody wants me. You're taking it too far now." Lightning looked to the Flan thing and put her hand on its shoulder. "It isn't funny anymore. Go home. Nobody wants to see you."

"Crud!" The monster yelled. It walked out of the house. Lightning sat down at the table depressed. Everyone that was still alive stood and stared at her.

"I'm stupid, aren't I?"

"No... you aren't Lightning." Odin said. Hope brought Alexander back to his wrist. "Eh, yea, Lightning! You're ... smart... Oh God I can't keep lying like this!" Hope plopped himself in a chair and rested his head to the table. Odin walked back to Lightning. "But, you are guilty."

"I know, I know." Lightning sighed. "But... I don't see why you forgave me before."

"Well, DUH! You're SEXY!" Odin grabbed Lightning and held her to make out with her. Once they finished, Lightning said,

"Odin... I LOVE YOU! I'll be a good girl OK?"

"OK Babe!" Hope looked at them disgusted. "Eh, this is sick. I don't see why you love him."

"BECAUSE Odin's my LOVE-ER. I can't leave him!"

"Light, you don't know HOW LONG I waited to have you back!"

"You don't know how much I don't care!"

"LIGHTNING!"

"What? I LOVE you and thats all that matters!"

"Are you sure?"

"Um..."

* * *

Thank you! Thank you! Sorry this took a lil time to upload! SORRY OK? The 20th chapter shall be the last! And I have the perfect idea for it! MUA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!


	16. Are They Serious?

**ARE THEY SERIOUS?**

"So you DON'T love me? Are you seriously trying to start, Light?"

"No, Odin, I'm trying to say I love you but, sometimes I experience feelings for someone else."

"May I mention the 'someone else' is actually HOPE'S EIDOLON?"

"No! Sometimes its Jude!"

"AGH! JUDE IS GONE FOREVER YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM! GAH FORGET IT! I DON'T WANT YOU ANYMORE!"

"Odin..."

"NO STOP YOUR INNOCENCE YOU'RE SO GUILTY RIGHT NOW!"

"OK! We can get divorced."

"Mom? Dad? Why are you guys fighting so much?" Bahamaut asked.

"Because MOM is being a butt!"

"EW! MOMMY!"

"Bahamaut, daddy's upset. Go to your room."

"Agh." Bahamaut walked to his bedroom. "Odin.. If you don't love me, we'll get divorced."

"Fine." Odin walked to his dresser and pulled out a packet of papers. "I already have the papers."

"So.. you.. planned on.. divorcing me?"

"Yup."

"Oh..." Lightning let a tear roll down from her face. Odin just smiled (He was still butt-ugly though) laughing intentionally at her sadness. Lightning could see that. "Odin... did you ever love me? Or did you just marry me for se... se..."

"Sex? Of COURSE!" Lightning burst into tears. "You never loved me?"

"I did. For S-E-X! DUH!" Odin soon found his wife running out of the bedroom with tears rolling down her face. "Wonder what HER problem is."

"Daddy," Nix said, "I think YOU'RE her problem. Everything you said hurt mommy's feelings."

"Pssht, yea, mommy has feelings."

"Daddy, I'm serious! You're being mean to her!"

"I am not." Odin stuck his tongue out at his daughter who rolled her eyes and walked off. "What? Nix? I was kidding!" Odin sighed. He then sat down on the bed in his room.

"Maybe I was a little too rude... NAH!" Lightning walked back into the bedroom and started packing her things. "Light?"

"These are the last things I'm going to tell you. After we get divorced, I'm going to live with... Alexander, since he got his own house. We'll never have to talk to eachother ever again, that way you'll be happy. I mean, since all you wanted from me was sex, and you got that. Now let's hurry up and sign the divorce papers so I can get out of here."

"I didn't mean it. I was kidding." Lightning held her hand out for the divorce sheets. Odin stared at her, hoping she would say something. "I guess you were serious then. I uh... I'm sorry. You made my life so... wonderful... I just thought saying that would make me a... a..."

"Didn't I say I don't want to talk to you?"

"So... nothing I said matters to you? Look I'm s-"

"DON'T say you're sorry! I don't CARE! Everything mistake I made you forgave me for ONLY so we could have sex? Man WHAT is your PROBLEM? You don't get married for sex you get married because you love your fiancée! You KNOW that!"

"But.."

"NO! NO BUTS! I DON'T CARE!" Lightning's face turned red with fury. If Odin could change what he said, here's how the chapter would've been. (This narrator has issues)

* * *

"So you DON'T love me? Are you seriously trying to start, Light?"

"No, Odin, I'm trying to say I love you but, sometimes I experience feelings for someone else."

"Why? Am I not good enough for you?"

"You are but... sometimes you bug me."

"I'm sorry baby." Odin wrapped his hands around Lightning and passionately kissed her. (WHY?) "I promise I won't irritate you ever again."

* * *

Now, Odin realizes what would happen if he changed the chapter. It would be SOOO BORING. So this is what he says.

"Ya know, you're getting mad at me for loving you. Yea it was for sex but at least I loved you. You constantly leave me and then later, beg for me back. And you expect it to be all fine?"

"No... I just..."

"Uh, huh, ran out of some excuse? Ya know what, we'll get divorced! I just wanna see how your life goes without me!"

"You're acting like you're a HUGE thing in my life."

"So I'm nothing to you?" Lightning sighed. "I'm sorry Odin. Shouldn't have been so rude to you."

"I forgive you then." Odin gave Lightning a big squeeze. "Can we both agree that we won't ever fight like this again?"

"Agreed. No... swear on it. You and me will swear on it."

"Deal." They shook hands and began making out. "From now on, daddy, we won't fight anymore."

"I'll make sure of that as long as you keep this up!"

"Ooh Daddy!"


	17. What Just Happened?

**WHAT JUST HAPPENED?**

"ODIN! DIDN'T I TELL YOU NOT TO PUT THE COLORS IN WITH THE WHITES?"

"So what! You have pink socks BIG DEAL!" Odin shuffled through the clothes. "Besides, now you have sexy pink underwear!"

"BESIDES that fact Odin! I hate the color pink!"

"And NOW you're yelling!"

"Leave me alone! I thought you were my daddy!" Lightning said, crying.

"I AM your daddy! Aw, baby don't cry!" Odin embraced Lightning in a tight hug so she would stop crying. Lightning stopped crying and hugged her husband back. "I'm still mad about the laundry."

"Agh, why's it matter? We can buy some more clothes!"

"It doesn't matter to YOUUU because YOUUU don't WEAR clothes! You just wear a cup over your wiener so nobody sees it!"

"So? Why does it matter so much to YOUUU?"

"What you wear DOESN'T I'm TRYING to say that I... Ya know what? FORGET IT." Lightning stormed out of the laundry room. "Light?" Odin walked all around and realized his wife was nowhere to be found.

"Lightning? If you're mad at me I know how to cheer you up!... you just gotta wear that thong again..."

"What Odin?" Lightning said from behind him. "My baby!" Odin picked his wife up and spun her all around. "Odin STOP!"

"What?... Oh.. guess you're mad at me."

"YES I AM. Now listen here, ODIN. I'm SICK and TIRED of you yelling at me! You make NO SENSE!"

"So... you're really mad huh?"

"You SEE? You lack intelligence! You have no intelligence what-so-ever!"

"Well, I'm sorry! Just teach me to b-"

"NO! You can't be TAUGHT!"

"Then fine. We can get divorced and you can marry someone with intelligence."

"... Odin.. I'm sorry. Forgive me please?"

"Yes." Odin lifted Lightning into the air. She was spun around in several circles. Eventually she screamed because she was dizzy and Odin put Lightning down.

"I love you, Light."

"I ... love you.. too." Lightning said although she was thinking of something different. Or should I say SOMEONE

**I KNOW SHORT CHAPTER. I JUST WANTED TO SHOW THAT LIGHTNING AND ODIN ARE TRYING TO UNDERSTAND EACHOTHER'S FEELINGS. I HOPE YOU ENJOYED, SINCE THIS CHAPTER WAS SHORT, THE NEXT WILL BE UP SOON!**


	18. Questions

OK this isn't technically a chapter, but since I had to add it, the last chapter will be 21. (Epilogue comes afterwards) I have a few questions to ask the audience that just won't leave my mind.

_**1. How come in humorous final fantasy stories Snow is usually stupid? **_

_**2. Why does Hope have so many issues? **_

_**3. Is there a reason to Lightning never smiling until the end of the game? **_

_**4. Does Vanille really seem like she's hundreds of years old? **_

_**5. Doesn't final fantasy have some crazy enemies?**_

_**6. Is my story stupid or WHAT! **_(Definitely OR WHAT)

_**7. Is it weird that the Eidolon battles get harder with each person you fight? And moving on in the game, the people get weaker?**_

_**8. Why do Japanese games have the people with spiked hair? **_

_**9. Why does Sazh carry a baby Chocobo in his HAIR? I'm POSITIVE I'm not the only one who's curious about that!**_

_**10. How come Hope does everything while making that 'eh' noise? EX: **_

**SNOW PUTS HIS HAND IN THE AIR  
LIGHTNING PUTS HER HAND ON HIS  
****HOPE PUTS HIS HAND ON THEIRS AND SAYS 'EH' **

**_Was it NECESSARY?_**

**_11. Why doesn't Hope's shirt cover his entire back? _**

**_12. Isn't the music on FF SO nice? (Most of the time)_**

**_13. Doesn't Lightning have the personality of a piece of-_**

**_14. Is Vanille's personality annoying? Or just stupid?_**

**_15. Did you know you could fight the dinosaur things on Gran Pulse?_**

******HERE IS MY REQUEST FROM THE AUDIENCE:**

******PM ME YOUR IDEAS, THOUGHTS AND/OR ANSWERS. I'D LOVE TO HERE WHAT YOU THINK! AND ONE THING EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW...**

******Even though I think it's kind of dumb to say because its kind of obvious and almost everyone here says the same thing, I have NOTHING to do with Final Fantasy XIII, the characters, the plots, nothing. **


	19. Odin is Serious

**ODIN IS SERIOUS**

**(Idea from Leftant Ghost-roach)**

Lightning rested her head on Odin's chest. She was sleeping on top of him, since the day before they had built a stronger bond. Odin soon woke up. Lightning was thrown on the floor by Odin.

"Ow,... what did you... why'd you do that?"

"I dunno. I was bored."

"ODIN!" Lightning screamed with tears runin-

"Ya know narrator, you're starting to bug me." Lightning, narrator isn't my name its ERIN! "Well, baby said you're bugging her, so now you get it." No... no no no no NO! ODIN WATCH THE KNIFE! WATCH TH-

**Odin: **Ah, peace and quiet.

**Lightning:** Yea. Where were we?

**Odin: **You were crying?

**Lightning:** ODIN! Why'd you... You don't love me!

**Odin:** NOOOOO I DON'T!

**Lightning:** But why not? Whats wro- Is the narrator getting up again?

I sure did! Oh yea!

"Crud." Lightning and Odin said simultaneously. (Will they resume the story please?) Lightning started to cry. "Odin, I don't understand why you don't love me anymore!"

"BECAUSE you're WEIRD!"

"How?"

"You're so clingy!" Odin yelled. He stormed out of the bedroom. Lightning sat on the bed, confused. "If he doesn't love me then... we can get..."

"DIVORCED!"

"You really don't love me? I thought..."

"Na, never ever. This time I'm DEAD serious."

"Odin?"

"I want a divorce."

"But..."

"NOW!"

"OK!" Lightning said crying. They got divorced, Odin kept Nix and Lightning kept Bahamaut.

_**Meanwhile...**_

"Alexander, what do you mean you have feelings for Lightning? She's already mine!"

"No, she's Odin's! But once they get divorced-"

"I'll take her!" Alexander punched Hope and he went flying through the air, all the way to Pulse. "Oopsie."

"Alex!" Lightning said, barging in with Bahamaut and a suitcase in her hands. "Can I... can I be yours?"

"Of course."

* * *

**THE END! I'm REALLY sorry, but I just can't process any ideas. This is the end of Horrid Marriage Life. The Epilogue will be uploaded soon, so ... yeah. I want to hear what the audience thinks! Should I make a sequel including Alexander and Lightning's life? Or should I just stop? PS I'm in the progress of making a different story for Final Fantasy, so check in on it! I thank everyone who reviewed, helped, or just viewed! **

**THANK YOU ALL!**


	20. Epilogue

**EPILOGUE**

**HOPE**

I thought Odin and Lightning were in love at the wedding. But they didn't really love each other, it was just for sex. Then they get divorced and remarried a billion times. And Lightning keeps cheating and had two kids. Which Odin killed. I don't think everyone knew that.

And after all the people she fell in love with, it was never me.

**FANG**

I don't have anything to say besides the fact that Lightning is an idiot. So is Odin.

**VANILLE**

I could care less about their relationship! But if I can talk about something different like happy time drugs or-

**SAZH**

I never really did anything.

**SERAH**

I was so proud of Lightning when she got married but... to her Eidolon.. It was creepy. Then they had a terrible relationship... I wanted to rub it in Claire's face but... I'm not that mean. Odin was stubborn, rude, ignorant, and uncaring. I have no idea of why Lightning fell so in love with him. Probably just for sex.

Then she goes and cheats with Snow... It hurts. I loved him first. And she got pregnant from him.

I don't really care about Lightning's relationship anymore.

**JUDE**

I thought I was gone sometimes. Like, I wouldn't come back. But I did. And Light fell in love with me a couple times. It felt nice to be loved. Even though she always abandoned me three seconds later.

Sigh, what a world.

**SNOW**

Well, I just got tipsy off of a couple shots. I had like, 27 shots and 14 beer bottles, and 12 liquor bottles. It was AWESOME! I-... Wuh? I'm supposed to talk about Lightning and Odin's relationship? Who wants to talk about that?

I'd rather talk about SERAH!

**DAJH**

Who's Lightning and Odin? All I know is my daddy! *goofy smile*

**LIGHTNING**

Gosh. To talk about my relationship... thats tough. Odin was great, when we first got married. Afterwards, he just didn't love me anymore.

I cheated a couple times, I know. And I'm guilty for it. But Odin kept forgiving me... and later using those facts against me... it was brutal. Jude, Snow, Alexander, even Sazh once. Oops... wasn't supposed to mention that part..

Oh, I'm such a horrible person. I told myself constantly, everybody makes mistakes. Everyone. But mine were probably the biggest. Or at least it felt like that. I loved Odin like crazy but...

God, I'm stupid.

**ODIN**

Talk about my relationship? I could write an entire 5 BILLION PAGE BOOK about it! Well, if I could write...

Lightning was a HORRIBLE wife! She cheated so many times! I got divorced with her but... I always wanted it back... The feeling...

Meh, who cares. I shouldn't have wanted a feeling like that from her anyways. I could've been better off with one of the Shiva sisters, or Fang. Cuz I like Fang. She's bad. I mean Fang wouldn't cheat would she?

Lightning is mean to me. I mean no matter what I tell her to do, she doesn't do it. I TOLD her not to look for me. I TOLD her not to cheat. I TOLD her to get rid of those babies that weren't mine but she never listened.

And Alexander? Really? The dude is so big he would put a finger on Light and she would be dead.

Jude? The guy dies so many times, you can't count how many times he died. And Lightning still loved him. I mean the day we got married she fell in love with him, then he died and she wanted me back. To think I was so gullible and stupid to fall for her.

Snow? The dude can't even count to three! Well, I shouldn't talk about that I can't count either, but he's such a moron! What's with the Serah obsession? If he's so obsessed with Serah, why'd he cheat with Lightning? I hate him!

Agh, I guess there's a part of me who still loves Lightning. On the outside, she's a beautiful young lady who makes several mistakes. Inside, she's desperate for love and goes to whoever she can for it.

I can't believe myself. I love her? WHAT?


End file.
